Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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