In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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