i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
