I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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