YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
