fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
