Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
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I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
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Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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