After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
