I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
