I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it's not cheating when I paid for it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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