Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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