I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
