exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
