Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
