So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
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The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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