glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
