You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
