He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
