Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
White coat. Heels.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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