I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
