You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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