so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
