I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
