There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
