Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
