You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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