I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
love makes seman taste better
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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