so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I look better un-naked...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize