I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
