Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
