after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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