im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
