Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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