He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
