I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
