Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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