just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
