I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
