i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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