Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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