i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
