we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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