I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize