Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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