just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
