i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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