I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
