Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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