it's like iHOP with fire
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
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My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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