Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
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do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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