Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
