Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
