we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
