When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
