Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
