Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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