I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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