Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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