at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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