youre lurking in front of me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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