I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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