Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
