just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
