I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize