I hope mine doesn't look like that
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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