I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
organizing the empties. That sober.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
